Erasing (or editing) blog entries is like cleansing. Cleansing the soul, the heart and the mind of unwanted memories.. of unwanted burden. Cleansing made me realize that not all memories are supposed to be treasured. It's like letting go of the stuff that you don't need anymore or the excess baggage that makes it hard to move on.
I started "cleansing" today. It was freedom. Freedom from the things that are unnecessary, useless and absurd. I decided to cleanse because I want to live a new life and become totally new again. Not that I don't want to claim that as my past or eject it from who I am, it's more of leaving the past behind and starting a whole new beginning. It's like ending hurt, false love and cruel mistakes..
I have learned my lesson in each of those times. It's like reading a textbook in school, and then you've learned from it, and now it's time to move to another grade, with a different textbook on hand. Would you still browse through the old one if you have a much better and updated version of the textbook? I guess not. Then what do you do? Throw the old one away or give to someone else or whatever, but you don't have to refer to it anymore. It's too outdated and too overused for you to use it again.
Is it more of selective amnesia you might say? Well, probably. maybe. yes.
I'm not finished cleansing, and I admit, it's a long way to go, but at least I already clicked the delete entry button a couple of times today and every click felt like bliss. It was as if I gave myself another chance to rebuild the story of my life again.
Speaking of which, I started rebuilding my life almost 7 months ago. I'm with someone REAL now. He's true as he can be and he makes me happy like no else ever did. Sobrang totoo siya. Sobrang totoo kami. I guess one of the main reason why I'm doing this is because I want to start my life all over again with him--clean slate and all.
Everyone deserves to be truly happy and I know we both deserve what we have.
Everyone deserves a second chance, a new life, a new beginning and how will you start? Start by doing the simple things, start "cleansing" your blog, your photo memory box and all the simple things that remind you of anything that can hinder you from starting that beginning.
You deserve that and once you've done it, everything will be pretty good--inside and out.